Awesome and Awkward Thursday

Awesome:

• SUNSHINE
• My roommates
• 242
• My study buddies
• Babysitting 3 really awesome kids on Thursdays
• Getting to watch ballet class on Thursdays
• Good grades in class
• TJ's Indian Food for dinner
• Organic Lollipops from TJ's
• Laughing at my bad political jokes with my boyfriend
• My boyfriend :)

Awkward:

•  Running into a girl on campus, knowing I know her, and trying to remember her name for dear life
• A girl drinking a fatty bottle of Pale Ale in class. IN CLASS. Seriously? 
• Texting while walking, and nearly walking into my roommate. Literally. 
• The people who think it is okay to talk through the entire lecture. Thanks, I definitely came to class to hear what YOU had to say 
• Getting home and having nowhere to park so I keep driving around the block. Again. and Again. 
• Walking through ballet class cuz I had to pee. My darn tiny bladder. 
• Trying to explain to children that I don't live with my mommy and daddy. I haven't quite figured out how to yet, and every time it stumps them. 
• Opening my door yesterday to a pretty little kitty on my porch that tried to run into my house. Then it followed my halfway to school. 
• The man in my sustainability class who talked about replacing his flushing toilet for one that you cover with bark chips after you do your business. That's just awkward. No thank you. 

Awesome and Awkward Thursday

Awesome

1. Clean laundry. The smells, the way it feels, everything. It's just great.

2. Getting e-mails about what to expect, pack, and do to get ready for CAMP!

3. Gluten free spagetti. I'm in love, really.

4. Realizing where I stretched myeslf too thin and stepping out of a few commitments. It's awesome. Yay for not being permantely tired and running around like a crazy person.

5. Having a friend tell me they can see the changes in me, even from afar. :)

6. Texting good friends and falling asleep doing it.

7. An awesome weekend planned: Friday-scavenger hunt with college group, Sat: lunch with Brynn and shopping with Emily! Sunday: Utah presentation in church, Brazil Missions Trip Meeting, and then more church.

8. Having my dance teacher tell me how MUCH she missed me in class last week. MORE THAN ONCE.

9. Today is THURSDAY, and tonight is Bible Study AND a girl's night. HELLO DOUBLE WAMMY OF AWESOMENESS.

10. How LONG my hair is getting. Like seriously, people. I don't think you realize.

Awkward

1. Waiting until I was completly out of underwear to do my laundry. Yep, I did it. And I re-wore dirty things, like a boss.

2. Having to leave class early yesterday due to not having taken a quiz yet. My professor told me by saying, "I need you to leave." My response, "FOREVER?"

3. Checking the mail, again, and again, with no mail waiting for me. Okay, maybe that's just sad. I really like letters, okay?!

4. Being in charge today at work. Hello, teacher Sarah. I look 12 but I'm in charge, really.

5. Texting late at night. My texts start to look: lke tsih. Today I tried to text "yay" and it said "yat." Caeli wrote back, "yat?"

6. Banning the word "awkward" by the kids at work. No, you may not use that word. I take 10 stickers away from your chart. Hahahaha the power.

7. Realizing that in fact, today is Thursday. Not Friday. I am losing my marbles, people.

8. Having to explain what a wood cookie is. Enough said.

9. Driving around to look at houses for rent and peeking into windows like a creeper. Oh, hi cute man neighbor.

10. The fact that I can see the WHOLE entire parking lot from my window. It seems like I'm being a creeper, but really, I'm just enjoying the view, kinda.

Overflow of pen to paper and a dapple of truth

I used to be really awkward. Okay, who am I kidding? I never grew out of that. When I was in Junior High or early high school years (it has all kind of blurred together now), I wrote a lot. And I mean a lot. Journals and journals full of poems, song lyrics, etc etc. I even was in a girl band for a little while. And I thought I was pretty fly. I loved to write. It was the way I vented.
As I've gotten older, I've found new releases. Cooking, crafting, shopping. More adult things, I guess. But last night while listening to Lady Antebellum (my new favorite), I was given a burst to write again. And I did. I wrote a poem that I am actually very proud of. It is called Not This Way. It's a story written in very short lines about losing someone in a way you never imagined it would happen.

So, in light of this post, here is my truth. I'm single. I have been for a little while now. I did something incredably awful and lost the love of my life. Don't feel sorry for me, I don't want pitty. I take full responsibility for what I did. This whole experience has really opened my eyes. I have not been living the way I want to. I have not been a good person. I've contacted person after person I feel deserves apologies from me. Some were recieved, some not even answered. I'm okay with that.

God is convicting me, growing me, and changing me. And despite what I have lost in this life, I know my reward will be in Heaven. I know my Savior went to the pits of the earth to save my soul. I know everything I have lost in this life is really a gain for Christ. I believe God is good despite where I stand. I believe God is for my good and will fight for me. The Psalms are beautiful. And they reflect my heart and desire to fully follow the Lord. Everything else is meaningless to me.

Awesome and Awkward Thursday...on Friday

My new dear friend Aimee introduced me Awesome and Awkward Thursday and I decided to try it out.

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Awesome: 

-I watched a hilarious video in class about gender and children respond to questions in it. The kid with snorkel goggles is my absolute favorite! 

-I only had one class on Thursday!

-I went shopping at Trader Joe's :) 

-Evan made a fire in my fireplace to celebrate me moving! 

-I had a very yummy dinner with Evan. Apple-sausage cooked on the grill with broccoli, cheese sauce, and oven baked garlic potato wedges. So good!

Awkward:

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-I got to class like 2 minutes late. The class is held in a huge auditorium with like 450 students. I tried to ask this girl if I could sit next to her and she couldn't hear me but she was just staring at me. So awkward! 

-After class, I was walking pretty fast (my normal speed) back to my car. This guy walks up next to me and tells me what a fast walker I am. He goes on about how I should join some fast walking club. He just kept talking about it. I've never seen or met this guy in my life!

-At Trader Joes these guys who were shopping kept looking at me. I would turn into an isle, and there they would be. Then I would move to another isle, and there they were. 

-When I was checking out at Trader Joes, my cashier was talking about something really random, but I couldn't really hear her, so I just smiled and nodded.

I think I'm ganna leave it at that for now. If you have any awkward or awesome moments, please tell me. I'd love to hear them. :) 

Happy awesome and awkwardness.