The Journey

I'm going into my 5th year of college. Yep, 5th. Was this intended when I graduated high school four year ago? Nope. Would I change the journey I've taken to get to where I am today? No. I wouldn't.

I started out my college experience at Corban University in Salem, OR. I learned a lot in my 2 and a half years there. I learned about friendship, both healthy and unhealthy. I learned about depending on the Lord. I learned about my identity and making it fully in Christ. I learned how to take care of myself. I learned how to lean on my community. I learned how to tell when people genuinely care about you, and when they are after something to gossip about. Most importantly, I learned about my passions. The things that make me, me. I learned about God's character as a loving Father and how it relates to me and my life. God cares deeply about the small details. And not only does he care, he plans each and every small detail.

In January 2011, I transferred to Oregon State University. Little did I know then, this place would become my home. I love Corvallis, OR. I love the weather. (People, this is a really BIG deal.) It rains a lot here, and I used to hate it, but now, those rainy, misty, cloudy days are my favorite. I love my community. I have a wonderfully supportive loving family that is also known as 242, my college group.
In my time at Oregon State, I learned how to cook (And I learned I actually LOVE it). I learned how to navigate finding my way somewhere when I have no idea. I learned how to develop my opinion and to voice it freely. I learned more about service. I learned how to ask other people for help and actually let them help me. I learned how to move into my own apartment. I learned how to find cheap free furniture and make it look fabulous. I learned how to express myself appropriately. I learned how to make lesson plans and teach them in a classroom. I learned how to make mistakes. (Well, I already knew how, but I learned how to fix them). I learned how to budget. I learned how to worship God all day, everyday. I learned how to have a heart that is constantly praying. I learned how to love deeper, stronger, and greater, only because I have a Heavenly Father who loved me first.

I've been through a lot in my 4 years of college, and I'm nowhere near done yet. I'm excited for the journey ahead, and all the more learning I get to do with my life. I'm excited to see where God is going to move, how He is going to show up, and how he will work in all the ugliness to make it beautiful.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Sunset, Sunrise

I was driving last weekend up to Portland and I saw a beautiful sunset behind me in my rear view mirror. Immediately, my thoughts went to thinking about a rear view mirror and how things behind me are in the past. It caused me to think about what is in my past, why it is in my past, and to leave it there. 

So, Corban. Some of you may know I went to Corban University for 2 and a half years. while in my 3rd year, I realized that it was not where God wanted me to be anymore. I left somewhat suddenly and without much explanation, until now. So why did I leave? That question must remain unanswered, somewhat.

Corban is in my past. Canby Grove is in my past. I think I spend so much time reminiscing, enjoying in my mind what was, instead of what IS. There are parts of my life I miss desperately. Things I feel I could have done differently. Or people I wish things were different with. But the reality is, things are only what I make them. With everything that happened at Corban and with my friends at Corban, it is finished. That is just the way it is. A few still talk to me now and then, but friendship is often because people are in the same place, on the same journey, at the same time. Now I am onto something new. 

I have this fresh start here at OSU, and it seems like not much has come of it yet. I still haven't found where I belong in this big school. I haven't found a group of friends. I haven't found a home. But the key word is yet. Just because I don't have those things yet and my prayers remain unanswered, it doesn't mean that God doesn't care or that he isn't sovereign. Because he is, and he will always be. 

As I was continuing my drive up to Portland, I looked forward. There was a beautiful shy in front of me as well. It reminded me to stop looking back (although when driving, it is safe to continue to do so!) and to look forward to the future that God has for me. 

My sunrise is coming.   

"Do not be hard on yourself about things you cannot change. The past is past and it's time to move on."

(From my God wants You to know on facebook)