Radical Living

"If we wanna live as Jesus lived, then we need to pray as Jesus prayed"-Seth Trimmer, Grace City Church

I dunno about you-but I want to live a radical life with and for Jesus. Through his power, I am able to change this world for his glory. I want to be a light for him. I want to overflow with his love for everyone and anyone I meet. Here is to changing my life and how I live through prayer. Cuz prayer is powerful and God moves through prayer.

 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine; according to his great power that is at work within us" Ephesians 4:20

God can do MORE that I can imagine. God can do MORE that I can even ask. His power is GREAT.

Blessed

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"

I leave Corvallis tomorrow morning for camp in California. This is a bittersweet moment. I love camp, everything about it, but I am absolutely saddened to leave what I have God has developed here. I am blessed with tremendous people in my life. And I wouldn't change a thing.

For my last evening in Corvallis, I had a dinner with some bible study girls. We laughed, we shared our hearts, cried much needed tears, prayed together, and gave very tearful goodbyes as we all depart for summer.

Then I spent the evening with Greg. :) We hopped on his BMW motorcycle and whizzed through country roads with beautiful views of mountains and trees. I enjoyed holding on tightly as we rode. I started singing worship to God, the whole thing was absolutely beautiful. We stopped at a park, went for a little walk along the Willamette River, and then watched the sunset. I really like this guy. :)

What a great way to spend my last night in the town that has become home. 

I am beyond blessed. 

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12

What am I getting myself into?

This is the question I always ask myself when God has called me into something and I hesitantly follow Him.

I love CAMP. Everything about it. And this summer I'm working at one again! And I couldn't be more excited, but I keep asking myself, "what am I getting myself into?" I watch the videos of camp and see major outdoorsy things that scare me, but ALSO really excite me. There is a ton that I don't have answers to: what I'll be doing, what camp is like, what kinda food I'll have to eat, etc etc etc. I'm a little nervous. But I don't need all the answers, nor do I really want them.

I remember when I got word I'd be working at Canby Grove. I was so excited, but I was also experiencing fear and the unknown like never before. But I was faithful to where God called me. And I was so blessed. God did so much in my life and in my heart that summer. He made me me.

Corrie ten Boom said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God."

So that's what I'm doing. I'm trusting, knowing where He leads me will untimately always be good.

It is truly amazing the way God uses the baggage, the ugliness, the dirt from your life to bless, encourage, and love others. The way God takes dust and makes it beautiful. After a long conversation with a friend today, I am left amazed. Amazed that my sin, my mistakes, and my regrets brought her comfort, hope, and encouragement. I cannot say enough how amazing my Father is and the way He works.

God, thank you for taking me down the roads you have taken me. Although I cannot always see the purpose or the outcome, I know you have a bigger plan and I will forever put my trust in you. Thank you for letting me see a glimpse of how you are using me and my story. Thank you for answering my prayer.

“I don't always knew where this life is going. I can't see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.”- Katie J. Davis

Trancends all Understanding

I wanted to share the devotional that really touched me this week. It is from the devotional Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. I love it! I was given it as a gift after my summer at Canby Grove.


It is dated for October 13:

"Anxiety should never be found in a believer. In spite of the magnitude, quantity, and diversity of our trials, afflictions, and difficulties, anxiety should not exist under any circumstances. This is because we have a Father in heaven who is almighty, who loves His children and He loves His 'one and only son' (John 3:16), and whose complete joy and delight is to continually assist them under all circumstances. We should heed His word, which says,

'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' (Philippians 4:6)

'In everything' - not simply when our house is on fire or when our beloved spouse and children are gravely ill, but even in the smallest matters of life. We are to take everything to God-little things, very little things, even what the world calls trivial things. Yes, we are to take everything, living all day long in holy fellowship with our heavenly Father and our precious Lord Jesus. We should develop something of a spiritual instinct, causing us to immediately turn to God when a concern keeps us awake at night. During those sleepless nights, we should speak to Him, bringing our various concerns before Him, no matter how small they may be. Also speak to the Lord about any trial you are facing or any difficulties you may have in your family or professional life.
'By prayer and petition'-earnestly pleading, preserving and enduring, and waiting, waiting, waiting on God.
'With thanksgiving'- always laying a good foundation. Even if we have no possessions, there is one thing for which we can always be thankful-that He has saved us from hell. We can also give thanks that He has given us His Holy Word, His Holy Spirit, and the most precious gift of all- His Son. Therefore when we consider all this, we have abundant reasons for thanksgiving. May this be our goal!

'And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hears and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7)

This is such a wonderful, genuine, and precious blessing that to truly know it, you must experience it, for it 'transcends all understanding.' 

May we take these truths to heart, instinctively walking in them, so the result will be lives that glorify God more abundantly than ever before. (George Mueller, from Life of Trust)

Search your heart several times a day, and if you find something that is disturbing your peace, remember to take the proper steps to restore the calm. (Francis de Sales)"

Such a great devotional. I hope this blessed you and encouraged you as much as it did me. :)

Awareness

This month (October) is Domestic Violence Awareness month.

I encourage all of you to wear purple or a purple ribbon to show support. At least one woman is battered every fifteen seconds. Very few will tell anyone.This saddens me. So let's ban together to do something about this.

Another subject that is very close to my heart is depression. Depression is a very real illness just like cancer or the flu. Here is a quote I found about it:

"Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.

Depression is humiliating.

If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.

It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.

Depression is humiliating.

No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”— Pearl (via thesunshinewaitingtobefound)

We are powerful beyond measure

I'm offically crazy busy between working, classes, and church. So while I had a 15 min break before work, I decided to share a little quote with my small group of readers.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

Dare to be different

  There should be something different about Christians. We are not called to be lukewarm. We are not called to act just like all of our other friends. We are called to represent Christ daily to the world that does not know Him, but has a deep need for him.

 

"Being a Christian doesn't mean you've said one prayer. It means you've made a radical change and you aren't the same. It means God is within you. It means you have come to life. It means you serve God with everything. It means God is in control of everything and you have surrendered. It means you are becoming like Christ." -unknown

Lately, I'm having a really hard time watching people I know who are Christians engaging in the world just like everyone else. To a point, I believe that Christians are called to interact within the world. We cannot shrivel up and hide just because we are Christians and the world is a "big bad place." But at the same time, there needs to be a distinct difference from the way we live this life.

 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

Romans 12:2

I am on a mission. I am daring to be different than this world. I am daring to stand up for Christ. I am daring to be a women who seeks Him with everything I am. Do you dare to be different?

I find myself in You

Yesterday was September 11th, 2011.

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10 years from the original day when our country was attacked. I loved sitting by the tv and hearing story after story. I love to hear people's stories anyway, but something in me just wanted to keep hearing more. I love the way this horrific experience brought people together, and brought about healing.

Today, I woke up and for the first time in a long time, I was not dying of heat by 8am. I awoke to a gentle breeze coming from my window. I LOVE this kind of weather in Oregon. The quiet of the morning. The still smell in the air. Oh, I just love it. So I made some mint tea, set out my blue Mexico blanket on my balcony, grabbed my ipod, journal, and bible. I started to journal.

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Prayer journaling is something I have been doing consistently since camp. I LOVE to look back, read my old prayers, see where my heart was, and see how God worked. I prayed and prayed. The words just kept coming. I can't remember a time that I was able to just keep talking and talking to God. I am seeing changes within my own heart. I am seeing answers to prayers I have been praying for a very long time. Then I started to read the Word. I found myself hungry for His Word! I have not been hungry in a long time. I have not been so thankful in a long time. I am really praising Jesus for where He is taking me! I have a feeling I don't remember, and I think it is joy.

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I found a quote recently that says something along the lines of, "the opposite of joy is fear." That has been on my heart and mind since I heard it. I have been letting go of a lot of the fears I have been harboring my whole life and I am realizing as I do that, I am finding my joy again. Or, really, God is giving me joy again. And it feels so great. God is leading me to a wonderful place, His arms. And that is where I find myself. In Him.

Looking back on September 11 gives me hope. I know that healing is possible. I believe Our God is greater, stronger, and able to do anything. Oh, God is just so good!

...and this is where life begins

"I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be."-Douglas Adams

If you told me a year ago that I would be where I am now, I would not have believed you. I didn't like where I was, but I was trying to like it. I was trying to fit in. I was trying to fit a mold that was not me. I was trying to remake my situation into something better. And I really did try, hard even. 

Upon realizing that my situation was not going to get better, I left. I came home, started over, rebuild my life and moved somewhere else. Sometimes in life, you just need a moment to step back and rebuild. And that is exactly what I did.

In a week from today my roomie moves in. I am so excited for this fall to start. To have a roommate who is my friend and roommate. Not just someone I am living with. I'm excited for football weekends. I'm excited for fall colors. I'm excited to have a real college experience. I'm excited to decorate my apartment and have a mesh of both of our styles, not just mine. I'm excited for pumpkin things. I'm excited for my life!

It's been a while

Well, it certainly has been a while since I posted a blog post. I'm not really even sure people read this, so my apologies to whoever does read this.

I've been going through a lot lately. The trials just kept on coming, one life shattering event after another. I've had a very very difficult year, to say the least. I think I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I am beginning to accept the difficulties and the challenges they have brought me. I am accepting the whys, the questioning and the reasons, even though they are unknown. I accept that God is having me go through this now to have this be better in the future and so He can use me.

A couple of weeks ago at Evan's church, Pastor Nick's sermon titled, "Where is God in our Suffering (Obadiah)?" That message came at a perfect time for me. I kept asking God where he was, wanting answers, and he delivered. God has a way of doing that, but always in His timing. One of the things Nick said was,

"if God can bring good from the cross, he can bring good from what is going on in your life." 

I had never thought about the cross that way. It opened my eyes. I'm learning more and more that I need to be trusting God, which is like DUH, but it's a very hard application.

Can't.

You can't make peace with someone who has war in their heart. -Unknown

Looking For You

Every woman longs for a man like Noah. A man who is honest, faithful, and sincere. A man who puts her happiness above his own. Women get together, watch the Notebook and gawk at the love he has for Ally.
He is so sacrificial and giving. He is a hard worker. He doesn't have a lot of money, but he gives and gives for Ally. He redoes a house that him and Ally visited one night and does it all because of his love for her.

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever."

Every woman deserves to feel the way Ally feels around Noah. Every woman is a treasure, and should be treated as such by their man. The men of this world (especially Christian men) need to step up and fill the roles that are God-given for them to fill. 

 

From Loveology(give it a listen, you won't be disappointed):

Godly men are called to be-

1. A leader (spiritually, physically, emotionally)

2. A lover (patience, love, encouragement, gentleness) Women are like wine glasses, they are valuable.

3. Provider 

4. Protector (watch over, take care of and guard the woman) She needs to feel safe and comfortable. 

I pray daily for these men. They are called to high standards. As women, we are just waiting to be led, to be a support, and to love and encourage our brothers. We WANT to. We aren't looking for perfection or Prince Charming. We're just looking for you. 

Ruin

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation." 

-Eat, Pray, Love

Never

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"Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step."-Unknown

Never:

1. not ever; at no time: 

2. not at all; absolutely not

3. to no extent or degree 

Stand there and watch me burn

I'm not the bridge burning kind, but you leave me no choice.

"There comes a time in your life when you have to stand up and shout, "This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love. I am a whole, complete package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me... or walk away. Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities life presents you."

-Stacey Charter

Christians

I've had it with Christians pretending and thinking they are better than everyone else. Everyone is a sinner. Jesus died for everyone. And all sins are equal-from murder to a white lie.

 Romans 3:23, "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" 

I believe in God, but I am tired of associating with people like this. There are real problems in the world and you are hung up on who said what, who did what, and blah blah blah. That is not our purpose. That is not why we are on the earth. 

"I like your Christ, I do not like you Christians. You Christians are so unlike your Christ." -Mahatma Gandhi

Stop being judgmental. Stop gossiping. Act like Christ. After all, Christ-ians should be Christ followers. How are we ever going to save the world for God's glory if we aren't imitating Christ? 

Love.  

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**I'm too passionate to really put any more words into this for now. 

Battle

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" -Plato

Negative people are negative because they are hurting. My advice to you: look past it, fight it, and show them some love. They need it more then you know.

I will not be silent

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."  -Martin Luther King Jr.

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Dictionary.com defines silent:

silent (adjective)

1.making no sound; quiet; still: a silent motor.

2.refraining from speech.

3.speechless; mute.

4.not inclined to speak; taciturn; reticent.

5.characterized by absence of speech or sound

6.unspoken; tacit: a silent assent.

I refuse to be silent.

 

Fish

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

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