30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 2

I failed at writing yesterday, so this is for November 2nd.

I am thankful to live in the Willamette Valley in Oregon. Where the leaves change pretty colors. Where we experience all types of weather in one day. Where I get to experience seasons. Where for class, I get to walk around campus and look at trees. Where I have the opportunity to go to Oregon State University.

Crazy weather we're having...

Snow. Ice. Flooding. Emergency weather advisory.

Just a few of the weather headlines I had flash on my tv and come through my e-mails this last week.

http://oregonstate.edu/main/alerts/local-officials-declare-disaster

Happening right in my own town of Corvallis, Oregon. Home of Oregon State University.

It all started on Sunday the 16th. I woke up to a winter wonderland! It was wonderful. Monday was a holiday, so I didn't have classes. It snowed a bit more the next few days, and then it quickly turned to slush by Wednesday the 18th, when it had been pouring like mad on top of snow melt. On Tuesday and Wednesday, there was a campus delay, causing classes to start at 10 am. Thursday, I recieved e-mails from my teachers that classes were going to be canceled, but Oregon State was still open.
http://oregonstate.edu/main/alerts/osu-main-campus-will-be-closed-friday-january-20
Later that evening, after getting e-mails and notifications about schools closing down, my roommate and I decided to venture out of our warm little apartment to explore the flooding in Corvallis.

my roomie, Aubrey and I in the shallow part of the flooded streets

http://oregonstate.edu/main/alerts/update-flooding-and-road-conditions-corvallis-and-benton-county

The times they are a'changing

About a year ago, I found myself moved back into my parents house in California. I had felt like a failure. I left school. I was a drop out. I was pretty much at bottom and I had no where to go but up. My dad kept bring up Oregon State. I liked the idea of returning to the Northwest, the place I now recognized as home. And Corvallis was merely 40 minutes away from where I previously attended school. Attending a state school however, I was not sure I wanted to sign myself up for that.

source

 I looked online and found out an OSU admissions counselor was in the bay area, less than a hour from where I lived. I hoped in the car with my mom and went to the meeting. The more I heard, the more I fell in love. But as I fell in love, the fears, the what-ifs, the questions filled my mind. I applied to OSU and was accepted. That was it. I was going to a state school, in a matter of months, or so I thought.
 Mid December, I decided to start school in January. I quickly got classes, found a place to live, and put together one small detail after another. Christmas came, and then I packed up my car and made the familiar drive north to Oregon. 

source

Transferring to OSU was like going from a fishbowl to an ocean. And I loved everything about it. Suddenly the world was mine. I was surrounded by new opportunities, different perspectives, so many differently types of people and activities.  Since coming here, I've tried kayaking, feminist protests, country line dancing, going to a bar, campus activism, a real house party, huge college groups, mudding, and so many more things that I can't think of right now.

Lately, I am amazed at the way things change. Just a year ago, I was in such a different place. Close with different people. Eating different food. One of the biggest changes I am grateful for is no longer living in fear. When I first left Corban, I had no idea what to do. I could have very-well bummed around, but my parents stood by my side and made sure I did not do that. I very quickly got back on my feet. It took about a year to stop living in those fears, but I am so thankful I have given control to the One who deserves to take the wheel in the first place.

There's something special about best friends

My month of July has been crazy! It's been a lot of fun though. My mom came up to visit and we had a blast. I can't believe we didn't take any pictures. I got to see my grandparents on the coast and I went to visit my cousins and help them move into their new house. My cousin Emily and I even decorated a wall clock for her new room. It was fun!

I've been baking a lot of banana bread lately. I recently just attempted my first gluten free loaf, and it was wonderful! Janae and I have been watching the Bachlorette and majorly dissing on Ashley. That girl is just annoying. We've been having a blast going on walks and running errands. I've been attempting to teach Janae to cook, which is always a task that involves laughter. She turns 21 this week! Yay!

On Thursday, one of my best friends, Brynn came to visit from Indiana! I was soo happy to see her! We had a blast. On Thursday night, we hung out with a group of girls and attempted to see a midnight premiere, which didn't actually exist, so we settled for a night of House Bunny and laughter.
On Friday, we spent the day walking around OSU campus, finally getting me some beaver gear (finally!), and taking ridiculously long naps on account of getting 4 hours of sleep the night before. We had a total girl night, watching movies, lounging, laughing, and just being us. I wish that girl could come to school with me here so badly!
On Saturday, we decided to head to Newport, OR. I didn't know how close it was! It was a 45 minute drive from Corvallis. We had a blast singing along to the ridiculous songs on my Ipod. Here is our day in pictures:

 making the drive to Newport

 beautiful Oregon coast, beautiful best friends

 laying on the beach, snacking--

While we were sitting here, we were snacking on BBQ chips. A little boy ran up, sat down in front of Brynn and reached into our bag of chips. Brynn said no. The boy kinda starred at us for a minute and then said, "I'm ganna go get my mom!" and ran away. We pretty much died laughing.

 me in Newport, OR

 Brynn at Mo's, getting ready to eat their famous chowder

 famous yummy chowder

 love this girl!

 Brynn's jump picture, take 1

 my jump picture, take 35

 toes in the sand :)

Brynn and I really enjoyed our day on the coast. We laughed a lot. We are a lot. We had salt water taffy, tillamook ice cream, and mo's chowder. We saw 2 different weddings. We enjoyed walking along where all the shops were. I even got an adorable shelf for $12! We walked on the pier and noticed no Sea Lions were to be found. I had such a good time with my best friend. I was so sad when she had to leave Sunday morning. I definitely cried when I pulled away from the airport. Cuz there is just something special about best friends. 

Beauty. Traveling. Oxymoron?

Sorry to my few followers who have been looking for something from me lately. I have too many thoughts to make them public on my blog, so please excuse my absence.

On the plane home to California, I wrote this.

I'm on an airplane. This is beautiful. Watching the sunset from above the clouds. Love it. The chatter of busy people all around me. The screams of children, the quiet calm words of loving parents. The hum of the plane. the therapeutic writing I've done this flight. I'm really ready to let go. That's how it always works. You live, you learn, you let go. I feel like God is always asking me to let go of something. My Father wants nothing to keep me from him and his love. Beauty.

My time at home in California was wonderful. I loved seeing my family (Mom, Dad, Brother, and his wife). It's been a long time. I guess it hasn't been that long, but I've been really missing them. Thursday night when I first got in, I went over to my friend Angela's house and we watched So You Think You Can Dance, just like old times. I love how when life changes all around you, some things stay the same. :) 

My parents have been remodeling the house, so it was cool to come back and see how different it was! It looks great and almost like a completely different house! It was lovely to see the California sun. I don't see the sun much in the rainy state of Oregon. I love it though. On Sunday, I attended a wedding of a long time family friend. It was very beautiful. It still amazes me how fast the time went by while I was there. I also got to share some yummy recipes I love with my family. I greatly enjoyed cooking for people! I've gotten very used to cooking for one.

Monday afternoon eventually came, although I had been dreading it. Both of my parents drove me to the airport. What a treat that was! We shared heartfelt goodbyes and kind words. I really miss them. I am blessed with such a great relationship with my parents. In the airport, I was incredibly early for my flight, but I made from friends with two other OSU students flying back. 

I absolutely loved my drive back from the Portland Airport.

This was my view coming back from the Airport. I was almost shocked how green Oregon was. Silly of me. I love the Northwest. I love my home. I enjoyed listening to Gungor while I drove (You should listen to them, AMAZING). Very soon, I was greeted with the greatest comfort of all for a North westerner.

It was a good drive. :)

I want Summer!

Lately, the weather has been really bipolar. One day it's rainy and wet, the next it's warm and sunny. I guess that's just Oregon for you. It makes me want summer so badly!

I want...

to lay in the grass

 

to lay in and by the pool

to go tubing 

 

to have bbq's

 

to go hiking at the falls

to wear my chacos and get another awesome chaco tan

  

to eat yummy fruit and my favorite, strawberries

to be barefoot

to go to the Oregon Coast

 

to wear sundresses

to go camping

to make and wear pretty string bracelets

 drink yummy blended drinks from Dutch Bros

to go to parks and be outside with my sweetie

oh, and so so much more! I cannot wait for summer!  I've always loved summer. Summer is always so carefree, so fun, so joyful. Summer is a season where I feel like I can truly enjoy company and enjoy life. I'm so stoked for this summer. 


All photos from google.  

Garden State

 

I was flipping through the channels tonight and my indie favorite, Garden State was on. Without even considering other options, I chose to watch it. :) If you aren't familiar with the film,  it's a story of a young man who returns home after a tragedy only to find the place he once knew as home to be nothing as he remembered. The picture above is mine, and so many other people's favorite scene in the movie. Here it is: 

"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."-Zach Braff's character, Andrew

I feel this way sometimes. There were points in my life where I had made myself a home outside of the house I grew up in. But now, it seems like I'm searching for something to resemble a home, my heart longs for it, and I've got nothing. I went to a bible study in a home the other night and it felt so refreshing to just BE in a home, a house. With nicely decorated walls, furniture, a clean house. It was beautiful and it felt wonderful.

Going back home (California) isn't really home anymore.  And I've just relocated to a new town, a new living location, but I wouldn't call it home, not at all. At some point, every person experiences this in their growing-into-adult life. I feel kinda like my life is a continuous state of temporary things, but I long to just settle down. I long to have a permanent place I live. I long to be done with school, find a church and get involved, start my life and career, and of course, a family. I'm sometimes living in California, sometimes in Oregon, depending on the time of the year. Things around me are always changing, as they always will be, but can things just be for a little bit? I feel uneasy and shaken up. I want to find my place, a place where I belong. 

I know God has me here for whatever reason, but WHAT IS IT?! I'm searching for why I'm here, other than for my education. I know God will satisfy my heart, my desires, and my deepest needs, but I don't feel like it. I know He is more than enough for me. But the transition between what I know and what I feel are two completely different things. 

I think I should stand on top of a truck in the middle of nowhere, wearing a trash bag, in the rain (which is pretty easy in Oregon), and scream at the top of my lungs.