September 26, 2012

242

I belong to an amazing community of college students and young adults. How do I know? Last night was our kickoff and I was feeling pretty apprenshive. I was excited, but I didn't know what to expect. Not to mention, I've been feeling off in my relationship with God, so I really didn't know how I'd feel. When a certain song came on, all of that went away.

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains

Your love never fails 
it never gives up 
it never runs out on me
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/jesus-culture-one-thing-remains-lyrics.html ]
  
There is NOTHING we can do to make Jesus' love for us go away. His love for us is. It is constant. It will never fail. It will never give up. It will never change or go away. Even our whole world crumbles, His love will remain.  That truth is absolutely beautiful to me. And a reminder I need all too often.

September 23, 2012

What do I do?

God is good. It is one of the many things I know without a doubt.

But what do I do when I don't feel my need for Him? My life is going well. God has answered so many prayers of my heart that I don't know what to do. I feel blessed. I know I need Him, I know I can do NOTHING apart from Him, but I still struggle to feel it. I have always gotten close to God during the trying times. How do I cling to His presence in the times of joy? Joy is new to me. I always had to struggle to find the light in the darkness, not the other way around. I know He is the only one who can fill me, and I'm not looking elsewhere, I just don't feel broken. I know he makes me new every single morning, but what do I do when I don't feel dirty enough to be remade?

I don't want to see God's truth and know it. I want to live it, to feel it, to embrace it, and need it. Daily. Every hour. I want to live out with every ounce of my being the truth I follow.

What do I do when I immersed myself so much in the Word that I read the whole thing? What do I read next? Do I keep reading? Do I re-read the devotional I have already read all the way through? I don't know where to turn. Do I open a new devotional? I'm struggling here. I'm struggling with how to seek God further. I know I need to turn to Him, but I don't even know where to start. I feel flat-lined.

September 20, 2012

The sun has set

It is weird to think YOU had the power to shatter my world. It is so weird that I thought I loved you then.

The truth was we both were slowly bringing out the worst in each other until it became too much and snapped.

I am thankful for the day it all changed and I will be for the rest of my life. That is the day I began to heal, the day I let it go and was finally free to never look back.

You have no manipulative power over me anymore. Cuz now you're just somebody that I used to know. And I couldn't be more thankful you are gone.

September 16, 2012

Update

I start school one week from tomorrow. ONE WEEK. Okay, so most people would be writing about how summer is ending blah, blah blah. I do not feel that way! I feel like I had a really great summer. It wasn't really what I expected or planned, but I enjoyed myself. I tried new things, traveled, got to be a maid of honor in my best friends wedding, went to concerts, and moved. All in all, it has been a really great summer.
I have really wonderful people in my life. Without a doubt.

I am so excited for school to start! I got my classes all worked out after a lot of headache. So far, I'm still on the waiting list for dance, but that's okay with me. I'm okay with waiting it out until winter term.

Things are really looking up. After a summer of having so much of my life up in the air, it feels so good. I have a nice place to live, close to campus, with 4 roommates. I got a babysitting job that requires maybe 10 hours a week, which is pretty much perfect right now. I also started working out and I'm feeling really good about the changes I am making in both diet and lifestyle. I bought some red skinnys as a bold move and I'm excited for fall and to experiment a bit. (Hopefully, I'll be showing you what I'm wearing). I am always amazed how God takes care of his children. I am such a silly dumb lost sheep sometimes, working and working to get things to work out when all I need to do is be still. I have a Father who knows better anyway.

"The Lord will fight for you; all you need to do is be still." Exodus 14:14

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

September 10, 2012

OOOOOSSSSUUUUU

BEAVER GAME DAY! We played Wisconsin...and we WON!!!
I love game day. And I love the people I have in my life.

September 5, 2012

Ya know when...

you move and you suddenly have much more stuff without places to go than before? Yep. That is how I feel right now. If anyone has creative suggestions I would really really love them. I might even beg at your feet for them. My room is pretty much a disaster. I just want to be settled in and know where all my stuff is. One day it will happen. For now, I'm constantly stepping over piles. Yay.

September 4, 2012

live it out

If you are not struggling daily to live it, you don't really believe it. 

Bam. Talk about a quote. Just some food for thought for your sunny day after labor day.

September 1, 2012

Moved.

It's official. I have moved! Keys are turned in and I have said goodbye to the apartment I lived in for way too long. I'm so excited to live in this new house and the laughter and life that is going to happen here. I just spent my first night in my new room and it was splendid. I am so excited!

A big big big thank you to my moving team: Deanie and Greg!