Home

Tonight I get to take a plane and visit home for 5 days! I am so excited to be in California, see my family, and enjoy just being home. :) Not to mention, California definitely has better weather than Oregon.

While I'm there, I also get to attend a wedding for a girl I went to high school with who has been a great family friend. I love weddings, they are so happy and colorful. I am excited!

Every picture tells a story

Basically, my life got pretty exciting pretty fast. Here is my week in pictures (kinda)

 I was in much need of a pedicure, and with the sun finally starting to come out, my toes needed some love. I painted them a lovely pink color courtesy of my friend Dani. I don't own any nail polish myself!

 One of my absolute favorite snacks: apples and cheese. YUM!

 Banana pumpkin muffins made with my friend Caeli. We enjoy baking and cooking together. We also made chili together this week. We've been baking and cooking together weekly and I just love our time together!

 My breakfast one day. Gluten Free oats with pumpkin seasoning, cinnamon, and chocolate chips.

 This week I tried a new adventure. I went kayaking! OSU offers it in the evenings in the pool and I thought I'd give it a try with some friends. It was super fun and actually really hard! My arms and abs are sore. I learned that I am afraid of being underwater for long periods of time. I'm going to keep going to face my fear and get stronger!

 I read some magazines outside and enjoyed the lovely view and the beautiful day.

 Pretty pretty flower I found

My dinner one night this week. Lemon Dill salmon, with stir fry green beans and potatoes with onions. Yum!

Overall, I had such a crazy week. It consisted of:

4 job interviews

babysitting

cooking

driving

class

church events

a little drama

a few baths

class

clothes swapping (we had an event with the girls in my college group) SO FUN

Kayaking

Registering for classes for Fall (I'm really excited! I'm taking Guest for meaning: World Religions, Lifetime fitness for Health, Contemporary Math, Human Sexuality, and Pilates)

I'm in a new and exciting time of my life. I'm loving it!

My Beautiful Daughter

My beautiful daughter,
I have created you in my image and likeness. 1 You are unique and wonderfully made. 2 I see you and accept you as you are. 3 My love for you is everlasting. 4 Though I know and see all,5 I thirst for your love and long for you to spend time with Me. Tell me your hopes, fears, and longings. Let Me see you, let Me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and you are lovely. 6Draw near to Me, and I will draw near to you. 7 Whenever you need me, I will rescue you 8and bear your pain. 9 I will give you hope and encourage your heart. 10 Allow Me to seal your heart in my love. 11
You are beautiful, my daughter, and there is no blemish in you. 12 You are a lily among the thorns. 13 You are an enclosed garden, a fountain sealed. 14 This garden is enclosed for the sharing of amazing love and intimacy between you and your spouse. Do not stir up love before its own time. 15 Trust me with your love story, and allow Me to bring you the truly great love you desire. I made man and woman to be gifts for each other. 16 Prepare yourself now to be a gift to your spouse who will cherish, protect, and honor you. My beloved child, if you have made mistakes in the past or have been wounded by another, come to Me and let Me hold and heal you. 17 I am full of mercy and compassion. 18 Behold I make all things new. 19 I will give you all that I am and all that you need. 20
I have shaped your days, before they came to be. 21 Seek my face, 22 and I will lead you to the vocation for which I created you. If I call you to be my bride alone, rejoice and open your heart to let me be your perfect Bridegroom. I take nothing away, but give everything in return. Know that, in whichever vocation I have for you, I am to be your first Love, and only I can completely fulfill you. Delight in Me, and I will give you the desires of your heart. 23
I am the Potter and you are the clay. 24 Allow Me to mold you into the woman I created you to be. Look to Mary for a perfect example of womanhood. Strive to live out her virtues and allow her to lead you ever closer to my heart. May all you do reflect the dignity that I have given you. Dress in a way that honors your beauty. 25 The world is in desperate need of you to show it my love, and I have placed you in my Kingdom for such a time as this. 26
I will be your rock, your refuge, 27 and your firm foundation. 28 When you are afraid, doubtful, or impatient, cling to Me and my promise that my plan for you still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint. 29 Keep your eyes and heart fixed on Me30 so you will not miss the many gifts I have for you. I have crowned you with my love and compassion, 31 my beauty 32 and splendor. 33 I love you and will bless you with every spiritual blessing under the heavens. 34
With all my love,
God, your Father

Scripture References
1. Genesis 1:27
2. Psalm 139:14
3. Romans 15:7
4. Jeremiah 31:3
5. Psalm 139:1-4
6. Song of Songs 2:14
7. James 4:8
8. Psalm 91:14
9. Isaiah 53:4
10. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
11. Song of Songs 8:6
12. Song of Songs 4:7
13. Song of Songs 2:2
14. Song of Songs 4:12
15. Song of Songs 2:7
16. Genesis 2:18
17. Psalm 147:3
18. James 5:11
19. Revelation 21:5
20. 2 Peter 1:3
21. Psalm 139:16
22. Psalm 27:8, 1 Chronicles 16:11
23. Psalm 37:4
24. Isaiah 64:8
25. 1 Timothy 2:9
26. Esther 4:14
27. Psalm 71:3
28. Matthew 7:24
29. Habakkuk 2:3
30. Hebrews 12:2
31. Psalm 103:4
32. Isaiah 61:3
33. Isaiah 62:3
34. Ephesians 1:3

When you find an old letter...

Today, I was looking through some old stuff. I found a letter I wrote to myself on June 17, 2010 at the beginning of my summer at Canby Grove. All the staff did this cuz it was an activity, and we got our letters to ourselves mid summer. Here is my letter:

"Just had a word activity and picked JOY. Sarah, joy can be a struggle for you. Remember, the joy of the Lord is your STRENGTH. With His strength, you are capable to do this. 

You have a passion for life, camp, and people. Remember the times of camp you have experienced. Incredible, right? You have dreamed of this experience- and now you are here. You are living your dream. God has called you to this position. He has equipped you to do so. he will work IN you, THROUGH, you, and INSPITE of you. God is still in control and sovereign. 

             You are my joy by David Crowder Band 'I cannot hold it in and remain composed, love has       oven taken me, so I purpose: I am letting myself go. You are my joy, you are my joy, you are my joy.' 

 Your passion, experiences and who God has made you to be make you the one one able to be Sarah. Only YOU. And you are the only one successful at being you.

God's purposes and love are bigger than anything you may be feeling. 

Go to the word. Don't delay. Go."

Finding this letter was extremely encouraging. It reminds me of the wonderful time I had that summer. It reminds me of my love for the Lord and my solid relationship with him that I sometimes doubt. It reminds me that my pain is okay. God just wants me. He doesn't need me to be whole, because he takes care of making me whole.

Psalm 94: 19, "when doubts will my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer"

I want that place

You know that place where you feel the most clarity and at peace more than anywhere? I want more than anything to go to that place right now. 

That place is somewhere I've only known about for a year or so. But my heart got so connected to it and now I wish more than anything to be there. They should be having camp starting in a month. They should be getting ready for another summer of ministry, campers, and staff. 

 I would drive there, but now, it is private property and you can't really just show up without some sort of legal issue. I want to just sit on this field. I want to scream as loud as I possibly can.

 I want to sit by the fire pit. I want to dance and sing crazy camp songs. I want to do skits. I want to teach about Jesus.

I want to sleep in the gal carrel, surrounded by wonderful women.

I want to walk up the stairs to the staff lounge, enjoy the air conditioning and laugh at whatever idiotic thing is going on in there.

I want to walk these trails singing and hearing echos of repeating songs. I want to hear the sounds of slingshots, archery, and games on the field.

I want to be there. I want to be called Nala. I want to do summer ministry. I want to be at a camp.

These people are my family.

Looking For You

Every woman longs for a man like Noah. A man who is honest, faithful, and sincere. A man who puts her happiness above his own. Women get together, watch the Notebook and gawk at the love he has for Ally.
He is so sacrificial and giving. He is a hard worker. He doesn't have a lot of money, but he gives and gives for Ally. He redoes a house that him and Ally visited one night and does it all because of his love for her.

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever."

Every woman deserves to feel the way Ally feels around Noah. Every woman is a treasure, and should be treated as such by their man. The men of this world (especially Christian men) need to step up and fill the roles that are God-given for them to fill. 

 

From Loveology(give it a listen, you won't be disappointed):

Godly men are called to be-

1. A leader (spiritually, physically, emotionally)

2. A lover (patience, love, encouragement, gentleness) Women are like wine glasses, they are valuable.

3. Provider 

4. Protector (watch over, take care of and guard the woman) She needs to feel safe and comfortable. 

I pray daily for these men. They are called to high standards. As women, we are just waiting to be led, to be a support, and to love and encourage our brothers. We WANT to. We aren't looking for perfection or Prince Charming. We're just looking for you. 

Ruin

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation." 

-Eat, Pray, Love

I'm captured by this love I see

I find myself wishing I blogged about something other than God, but I can't help it. I love God. My love for Him overflows and is ingrained in every part of my life.

Tonight, at my bible study with some very beautiful women who love God,  I got such encouragement and a touch of what heaven will look like. I was reminded that I am not alone. I was reminded that everyone around me is facing trails. I was reminded that God is bigger than anything I may be facing in the moment. I was reminded that it is good to be raw, to be real, to be vulnerable. I was so blessed by these women who sat around me, spilled out what was on their heart and had tears flow from their eyes. This is community. This is beauty. I love the beauty that I see in real and honest tears. I love to see the beauty in the brokenness. Brokenness means growth, desire for change. Surrender. As each woman shared, we then circled them and prayed over them. We did this for every woman there. 

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I firmly believe in the power of prayer. When we simply ask and express the desires of our hearts, the burdens we carry, God rewards that. Also, God tells us that when we gather together in his name, he will be there. I cannot wait to see how God uses this vulnerability. I cannot wait to hear about the answers to prayer. I cannot wait to get to know these women better. I am excited for what God is doing. I am not burdened by the pain, but I am excited for the goodness of God. He is so good! 

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Beautiful Lord by Leeland

When the storm is raging all around me
You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea
And when the cares of this world
Darken my day
You are the light that shines
And shows me the way

Oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me!

Beautiful Lord

Awesome and mighty
I'm captured by this love I see
Beautiful Lord
Tender and holy
Your mercy brings me to my knees
It's Your mercy that has made me free
Beautiful Lord

When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again
And oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me

And I am lifted by Your love to sing!
It's Your mercy that has made me free!

You're beautiful, my Lord
You're beautiful, my Lord

I never knew you, but....

 It seems silly to mourn the loss of someone I barely knew, but I am. Sara Swenson touched my life and so many others. I had one class with her during her senior year at Corban when she returned cancer free. As time went on, Sara learned that her cancer had come back, and doctors told her they couldn't do anything anymore.

She was a beautiful girl. She was always filled with joy, strength, and the ability to trust in the Lord despite her circumstances. She went to be with Jesus on May 2nd, around 11 pm. I am overjoyed that she is no longer in pain and that she is dancing with Jesus in Heaven. All day, I've been watching her facebook wall being flooded with kind words, prayers, and the impact this young woman had on so many people who didn't even know her well. I am one of those people.

I'm not sure if Sara even knows who I am. But I knew her and her story. I followed her story and prayed for her as her journey unraveled. She touched my life in a way that is impossible to describe with words. She had to leave college to receive treatment for cancer, be away from friends and family, then return to school after everyone in her year had graduated in attempts to finish. That took strength, determination, and perseverance. Sara is a Godly woman that I look up to. She inspires me. I wish I had the opportunity to get to know her.

Sara, I am so blessed by you. Simply who you are. You shine. I am so happy that you get to be with Jesus and the angels in Heaven.

Love, Sun, & Crafts

On Thursday, I went to a conference for young adults ages 18-28 called The Way Event//Love-ology. It was an amazing event all about relationships, marriage, femininity, masculinity, dating, sex, and love. The podcasts are available online, and you should definitely give a listen to them. They are pretty long and there are two days, however, so do it while cleaning, showering, driving, or cooking.

I took sooo many notes it is crazy! The whole event was absolutely beautiful to me. We gathered in an abandoned warehouse in Portland. It was cold, rainy, and not comfortable to say the least. There weren't enough chairs, so we sat on cold concrete. The "bathrooms" consisted of port-a-potties in the rain. I'm so glad  I have a small bladder and I got to experience them! All joking aside, the beauty of it to me is that we all had a desire to learn. We were all there because we want to learn about what God says about this things, what  Godly men and women look like.

On Sunday, the weather was absolutely stunning. It was sunny and 62 degrees! (I know, that sounds freezing to some of you, but the warm sun was so perfect!) I got to wear shorts and a tank for the first time this year. I greatly enjoyed it! I planned to go to the park and read, but instead, I took advantage of the balcony at my apartment.

 I was praying about my desire to be a Godly woman and have God use me. God whispered to me, "Sarah, you already are a woman of me. Follow me. I am using you." It was such comfort to hear those words straight from my Father! I was reading the Psalms and I got such a sense of where I belong. I often question things and feel like I don't belong for one reason or another. God reassured my wandering heart and made me feel so comforted and safe.

  I was so excited about the warm weather. Summer is coming! :) Here is my outfit: 

Shorts: Charlotte Russe
White Tank: Target
Purple Vest: Ross
Sunglasses: H&M
Necklace: Forever 21

I've been helping my friend Dani organize and decorate her craft room. It was a big explosion when we first started, but I helped her create a place that was calming, inspiring, organized, and functional. I think it looks pretty good if you ask me!

These are cork squares covered with decorative fabric and ribbon and inspirational collages

White wire ribbon with card fronts attached with mini colored clothes-pins

These cute little jars hold Dani's ribbon

I made this jar for Dani to put scissors and pens or whatever on her desk

This wall is absolutely my favorite, We decorated the letters with ripped up paper and mod-podged it. I did the R, A, T, and half of the E. 

There are some star lights over the window and a desk where Dani can work! Yay! The bin holds all her fabric, paper, and miscellaneous things. 

The room turned out really great! We didn't really have a color scheme when we started, but as it went along, it all unfolded perfectly. Dani loves color and I'm so glad I could help her make this space perfect for her. She has a shop on Etsy and makes some of the cutest things I've ever seen! Not to mention, I got to craft and organize with a good friend. Perfection.

Never

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"Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step."-Unknown

Never:

1. not ever; at no time: 

2. not at all; absolutely not

3. to no extent or degree