September 28, 2011

We are powerful beyond measure

I'm offically crazy busy between working, classes, and church. So while I had a 15 min break before work, I decided to share a little quote with my small group of readers.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

September 25, 2011

Everything we do, we do it big.

Yesterday, the OSU Beavers played UCLA Bruins and we lost. We're not doing well this season. But I still go to every home game to cheer for my team. Win or lose, I'm a beaver believer. They blast this song before kick-off when the team comes running out.
And here is my weekend in pictures:
Staci, Me, Janae and Nakalen
Me, Anna, Emily, and Janae
Staci, me, and Janae
Me, Janae, Anna, and Emily
Lindsey, Janae, me, and Staci
Janae, me, and Staci-cheering on the Beavs!
School starts Monday and I started work last Monday. My life is about to get pretty crazy. But I'm excited to be really busy for the first time in a year or so. We kinda lived-it-up this weekend due to it being the end of summer. Bring it on, fall! :)

I will rise

When a fire burns, it destroys everything in it's path and turns it into ashes.The idea of ashes have been on my mind a lot lately. When there is some sort of forest fire, it takes a few years for the ashes to be fertile to grow again. I suppose this happens in life, too. You get to a place where you're living in your own ashes and you have got to rebuild and start over. As I ponder this, I realize there is beauty in this. Not only in the growth, but the concept that God never leaves our sides and he is making us new every single day. 

"Into the darkness you shine, out of the ashes we rise" Our God by Chris Tomlin

"Yes I will rise, Out of these ashes rise, From this trouble I have found, And this rubble on the ground I will rise Cause He Who is in me Is greater than I will ever be And I will rise" Rise by Shawn McDonald

These songs all talk about rising up from the despair of life, rising up from whatever has burned you down to the ground. I find it interesting to find that these songs both talk about ashes, and rising up. My first though when I see ashes is not, "how will this rise up?" But God works in ways we do not understand.When Christ died after being hung on the cross, he was dead and put into the ground in a tomb. But he rose from the dead.

1. To assume a standing position after lying, sitting, or kneeling.
2. To move from a lower to a higher position; ascend.
3. To come into existence; originate. 
4. To uplift oneself to meet a demand or challenge.
5. To return to life.

Just like the sunrise is the beginning of a new day, rising up shows newness, beginning, a fresh clean start.

"I will rise when He calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on eagles wings. Before my God, fall on my knees. I will rise. I will rise." I will rise by Chris Tomlin

September 21, 2011

What's cooking?

Last week, I made the most fabulous dinner. I was so impressed with myself because it was one of those days where I looked in my fridge, picked out random ingredients, and threw it together. It was glorious!

I used:
  • 1 raw chicken breast
  • 1/4 of an onion
  • 1 carrot
  • 3 baby red potatoes
  • fresh basil leaves
  • 1 drop olive oil
  • 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1 lemon, juiced
 I put the chicken in the roast pan and cut up the veggies to surround it. Then I drizzled the lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, and olive oil over the top. I sprinkled the fresh basil over the top and baked for about an hour. When it was done, the whole apartment smelt marvelous and it tasted like a dream! This recipe is so great because it is so easy to make and good for you! (Not to mention, gluten free) :)
 Any yummy recipes I should try?

September 16, 2011

Can you feel the love tonight?l

As you may very well know, my camp name is Nala. So when I heard The Lion King was showing in 3D in theater's for 2 weeks, you know I was all over it. I have always loved The Lion King, even since I was a little girl. I even named my favorite doll Nala. It's kinda an obsession.
My roommate, Anna, and I have been patiently waiting for this movie all week! We went to the matinee showing (to save a few bucks -AND we got a student discount-) and stopped at Winco to get some grub. We only ended up paying $8 for a 3D movie; can't beat that!
Looking Ballin in our 3D shades. No shame.
Yes, I am holding a ridiculous amount of Candy. bring it on.
Everyday, I'm shufflin'
We pretty much had a blast. We laughed, we cried (Anna did), we sang along, and whispered to ourselves classic lines from the movie. I'm also pretty sure we drove some people around us crazy...and I don't really care. Best. movie. ever.

September 15, 2011

Dare to be different

  There should be something different about Christians. We are not called to be lukewarm. We are not called to act just like all of our other friends. We are called to represent Christ daily to the world that does not know Him, but has a deep need for him.
"Being a Christian doesn't mean you've said one prayer. It means you've made a radical change and you aren't the same. It means God is within you. It means you have come to life. It means you serve God with everything. It means God is in control of everything and you have surrendered. It means you are becoming like Christ." -unknown

Lately, I'm having a really hard time watching people I know who are Christians engaging in the world just like everyone else. To a point, I believe that Christians are called to interact within the world. We cannot shrivel up and hide just because we are Christians and the world is a "big bad place." But at the same time, there needs to be a distinct difference from the way we live this life.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." 
Romans 12:2

I am on a mission. I am daring to be different than this world. I am daring to stand up for Christ. I am daring to be a women who seeks Him with everything I am. Do you dare to be different?

September 14, 2011

No, I think I can do better

 I never thought pride was something I struggled with. I assumed that because I lack an extreme amount self-confidence that I must not struggle with pride. That's a sin for those people, ya know the ones. Anyway, as I learn more about what pride is, I'm thinking that it's a problem for people like me. Actually, not just people like me, but in fact me. 

A few weeks back at Evan's church, Nick was talking about pride.  When I heard this sermon initally, I thought, "wow, I can't get anything out of this one," but I was wrong. Nick was calling us to be humble and not prideful. He said, "when we think we're done learning, we're done." It's important to have a humble heart that is always willing and ready to learn. 

Then this past Sunday, at my church, Seth was talking about pride. He was saying that pride is living autonomously to God and refusing to acknowledge that we are Creation, not the Creator. In my life, I have developed by pride by trying to take control and not allowing God to be in control (which He is anyway). This pattern leads to idolatry, which then leads to sin. And I'm realizing the weight of my sin. The consequences. The dirtiness of it. But at the same time, I'm also realizing the beauty of the cross. The glory of God's grace. 
I'm overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord. It feels so much better to live through God's strength then thinking I can do better and trying to live on my own. God, your way is much better than mine. 

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,'
            declares the LORD.  
'As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts." 
Isaiah 55:8-9

September 13, 2011

Roomie love

My lovely roommate is such a blessing.
Meet Anna.
(this is the night we opened a coconut with a screwdriver and a wrench)
Today I got back from an appointment and I attempt to open the door and it gets run down and closed by my friend Rachel. Then there is all sorts of screaming and running I hear from inside my apartment. "What?!" I was pretty much confused to whatever ruckus must have been going on in there. Then I hear, "you can come in now!" So I walk in thinking that something is going to jump out at me or something and I see sunflowers and a cute little purple note sitting on the counter.
My roommate is a blessing. Seriously. I have gone through my share of roommates. I think since I started college I have lived with 8 different roommates. That's quite a lot now that I think about it. I promise, I'm not hard to live with. I have been praying for a good roommate for a while and since I came to OSU, I've lived with people I found on Craiglist. Eh, not the best but pick your battles. My roommate Anna and I met through our friend Janae, who I met in Bible Study. Anna is also studying Psychology and she transferred to OSU, too! Our apartment is starting to resemble a home. (i'll take pictures really soon!)

Earlier this afternoon, we did some pinning on pinterest. I was tired so I took a little nap. When I woke up, the dishes were all done and the living room was cleaned. We did some Pilates (which we are vowing to do every day!). I am just so glad she is my roommie. So blessed. <3

Anna, myself, Janae, and Lindsey at the first OSU game of the Season

September 12, 2011

I find myself in You

Yesterday was September 11th, 2011.
10 years from the original day when our country was attacked. I loved sitting by the tv and hearing story after story. I love to hear people's stories anyway, but something in me just wanted to keep hearing more. I love the way this horrific experience brought people together, and brought about healing.

Today, I woke up and for the first time in a long time, I was not dying of heat by 8am. I awoke to a gentle breeze coming from my window. I LOVE this kind of weather in Oregon. The quiet of the morning. The still smell in the air. Oh, I just love it. So I made some mint tea, set out my blue Mexico blanket on my balcony, grabbed my ipod, journal, and bible. I started to journal.

Prayer journaling is something I have been doing consistently since camp. I LOVE to look back, read my old prayers, see where my heart was, and see how God worked. I prayed and prayed. The words just kept coming. I can't remember a time that I was able to just keep talking and talking to God. I am seeing changes within my own heart. I am seeing answers to prayers I have been praying for a very long time. Then I started to read the Word. I found myself hungry for His Word! I have not been hungry in a long time. I have not been so thankful in a long time. I am really praising Jesus for where He is taking me! I have a feeling I don't remember, and I think it is joy.
I found a quote recently that says something along the lines of, "the opposite of joy is fear." That has been on my heart and mind since I heard it. I have been letting go of a lot of the fears I have been harboring my whole life and I am realizing as I do that, I am finding my joy again. Or, really, God is giving me joy again. And it feels so great. God is leading me to a wonderful place, His arms. And that is where I find myself. In Him.

Looking back on September 11 gives me hope. I know that healing is possible. I believe Our God is greater, stronger, and able to do anything. Oh, God is just so good!

September 10, 2011


I love pinterest. These images make me smile, have hope, believe, and love. 

Walking, sunflowers, and bicycles

I went for a walk this morning before the day got to be insanely hot. (its estimated to be 100 today!) I left my apartment with nothing but a key and my ipod. 

I'm currently listening to a new band I discovered called Ashes Remain. I am loving them. I found them on Itunes on free download. I got one song, fell in love and bought the whole album. My favorites are Change my Life and Without you. Listen to em. :)

I was walking along the trail I tend to walk and I walked past a park. I was kinda on my own planet from listening to my music and I almost got run over by a few bikes. Oops! As I walked past the park, I saw sunflowers. If you don't know about my obsession with sunflowers, you should. I absolutely love them. There were a few bunches of them. But one stood out to me. It was standing taller and stronger than the rest. 
Some of them were leaning, some were wilting, some were just not bloomed quite yet. But this sunflower was standing bright. It was like it was smiling at me. Once someone used an analogy of sunflowers and said that I was like a sunflower, because I radiated the light of God and brought others to the Son (Jesus). Seeing this strong sunflower reminded me of what my friend had said. I was also reminded that God can make me strong if I lean on Him. He will give me the strength to face every day.

September 9, 2011

When you can't cry, laugh.

This is pure hilariousness. And the old people just make it that much funnier. :)

September 8, 2011


per·fect  (pûrfkt) adj.
1. Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.
2. Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

How amazing is that? When we are weak and falling on our knees is when Jesus is perfect, complete, lacking nothing? That is when we are strong, because of Jesus.  I am weak, but He is strong. My Jesus is strong, and He will always be. I find this as a deep deep comfort. I'm making some changes in my life. I've realized I put things from this life into the place in my heart where only God can satisfy. I realized that I became complacent in my walk with the Lord and I became okay with my own sin. 

Jesus, I never want to be at this place again. Anytime my sin keeps me from you it is a big deal and I need to take it seriously. Thank you for your grace, your strength and your love towards me, your silly lost sheep. Thank you for going to the mountains to search me out.

Matthew 18:10-14
"'See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. 'What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 
In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish."

This passage of the wandering sheep is always comforting to me. Sheep are not the smartest animals and Matthew is using sheep in this parable to relate to us as humans. We do stupid things and we wander away.  But God does not shrug his shoulders when one wanders away. He goes and leaves all the other sheep to find the one that went astray.

September 5, 2011

Didn't I, my dear?

"It was not your fault, but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?" -Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
There are moments in life where you would do anything to change what has become. There are moments where you wish you could change your current situation. There are moments where you'd give anything to know you'll be forgiven for making a huge mistake.

I feel so strongly the weight of what I've done. I feel so strongly the fear that you'll never speak to me again. I feel so strongly that I will never be forgiven. 
This last weekend one of my best friends, Max (also known as Beef) came to visit me.
We go way back to high school where we went to camp together. Then, in 2010, we ended up working at Canby Grove together.  Max visited to go to an OSU game with me. When we were getting his ticket for the game, we were approached by the Channel 9 news lady and we ended up being on the news that night!
We had a blast at the game, even though OSU had a disappointing loss in overtime. I LOVE FOOTBALL! Max and I had a great weekend. I didn't take any pictures on my camera, but my friends did, and I've yet to gather the pics from them. On Sunday, Max and I headed north and visited some camp friends as well as camp. It was a great visit and I really enjoyed seeing camp. It is one of those places where I found myself and it will always be a comforting place for me to be. We ended the weekend playing a round of Ticket to Ride (an awesomely fun game!). I love people from camp. I love good friends. I love football.

September 1, 2011

When everything falls apart

your arms hold me together.

I'm in the midst of some life-changing trials and some life-altering moments. I need to keep it private so I won't be blogging for a while. If you think of me or read this, please pray for me and those involved in the situation. My biggest hope is that God would grow us all and that we would be brought closer to Him through this.