September 12, 2011

I find myself in You

Yesterday was September 11th, 2011.
10 years from the original day when our country was attacked. I loved sitting by the tv and hearing story after story. I love to hear people's stories anyway, but something in me just wanted to keep hearing more. I love the way this horrific experience brought people together, and brought about healing.

Today, I woke up and for the first time in a long time, I was not dying of heat by 8am. I awoke to a gentle breeze coming from my window. I LOVE this kind of weather in Oregon. The quiet of the morning. The still smell in the air. Oh, I just love it. So I made some mint tea, set out my blue Mexico blanket on my balcony, grabbed my ipod, journal, and bible. I started to journal.

Prayer journaling is something I have been doing consistently since camp. I LOVE to look back, read my old prayers, see where my heart was, and see how God worked. I prayed and prayed. The words just kept coming. I can't remember a time that I was able to just keep talking and talking to God. I am seeing changes within my own heart. I am seeing answers to prayers I have been praying for a very long time. Then I started to read the Word. I found myself hungry for His Word! I have not been hungry in a long time. I have not been so thankful in a long time. I am really praising Jesus for where He is taking me! I have a feeling I don't remember, and I think it is joy.
I found a quote recently that says something along the lines of, "the opposite of joy is fear." That has been on my heart and mind since I heard it. I have been letting go of a lot of the fears I have been harboring my whole life and I am realizing as I do that, I am finding my joy again. Or, really, God is giving me joy again. And it feels so great. God is leading me to a wonderful place, His arms. And that is where I find myself. In Him.

Looking back on September 11 gives me hope. I know that healing is possible. I believe Our God is greater, stronger, and able to do anything. Oh, God is just so good!

No comments:

Post a Comment