November 8, 2011

The times they are a'changing

About a year ago, I found myself moved back into my parents house in California. I had felt like a failure. I left school. I was a drop out. I was pretty much at bottom and I had no where to go but up. My dad kept bring up Oregon State. I liked the idea of returning to the Northwest, the place I now recognized as home. And Corvallis was merely 40 minutes away from where I previously attended school. Attending a state school however, I was not sure I wanted to sign myself up for that.

 I looked online and found out an OSU admissions counselor was in the bay area, less than a hour from where I lived. I hoped in the car with my mom and went to the meeting. The more I heard, the more I fell in love. But as I fell in love, the fears, the what-ifs, the questions filled my mind. I applied to OSU and was accepted. That was it. I was going to a state school, in a matter of months, or so I thought.
 Mid December, I decided to start school in January. I quickly got classes, found a place to live, and put together one small detail after another. Christmas came, and then I packed up my car and made the familiar drive north to Oregon. 
Transferring to OSU was like going from a fishbowl to an ocean. And I loved everything about it. Suddenly the world was mine. I was surrounded by new opportunities, different perspectives, so many differently types of people and activities.  Since coming here, I've tried kayaking, feminist protests, country line dancing, going to a bar, campus activism, a real house party, huge college groups, mudding, and so many more things that I can't think of right now.

Lately, I am amazed at the way things change. Just a year ago, I was in such a different place. Close with different people. Eating different food. One of the biggest changes I am grateful for is no longer living in fear. When I first left Corban, I had no idea what to do. I could have very-well bummed around, but my parents stood by my side and made sure I did not do that. I very quickly got back on my feet. It took about a year to stop living in those fears, but I am so thankful I have given control to the One who deserves to take the wheel in the first place.

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