September 23, 2012

What do I do?

God is good. It is one of the many things I know without a doubt.

But what do I do when I don't feel my need for Him? My life is going well. God has answered so many prayers of my heart that I don't know what to do. I feel blessed. I know I need Him, I know I can do NOTHING apart from Him, but I still struggle to feel it. I have always gotten close to God during the trying times. How do I cling to His presence in the times of joy? Joy is new to me. I always had to struggle to find the light in the darkness, not the other way around. I know He is the only one who can fill me, and I'm not looking elsewhere, I just don't feel broken. I know he makes me new every single morning, but what do I do when I don't feel dirty enough to be remade?

I don't want to see God's truth and know it. I want to live it, to feel it, to embrace it, and need it. Daily. Every hour. I want to live out with every ounce of my being the truth I follow.

What do I do when I immersed myself so much in the Word that I read the whole thing? What do I read next? Do I keep reading? Do I re-read the devotional I have already read all the way through? I don't know where to turn. Do I open a new devotional? I'm struggling here. I'm struggling with how to seek God further. I know I need to turn to Him, but I don't even know where to start. I feel flat-lined.

4 comments:

  1. I don't have an answer, Sarah. I wish I did because I have felt similar and feel that way a lot more than I would like to. All I can tell you is that I relate. Know that you're not the only one. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly.

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  2. Read it again and again. Ask God to speak to your heart and tell you where to head next. Join a ministry at your church that will challenge you. Find someone to come along side of and talk to about God. Follow the Great Commission and go out to make more disciples! Love you cousin!

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  3. Oh! And embrace the joy! God have blessed you and filled you with his love! Write about it and count your blessings. Save them in your heart to help you in the next dark time. Enjoy your closeness to our Savior and get to know Him even better!

    And now, I shall go try to take my own advice... :)

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