Failure

I'm a failure. It isn't because I got a bad grade on a test or because I treated a friend poorly.

I'm a failure because I failed to give God my everything. God sent his son to die for me on the cross. Without Him, I wouldn't have life. This life is NOT my own. But it belongs fully to God. It is all about His will, His way.

"...if we're going to live for Christ, we have to die to ourselves: our dreams, our hopes, our futures, our wills."

I have not been allowing God into every part of my life. I have been giving him little chunks here and there, leftovers mostly. My focus has not been on Him, at all. And I want it to be. I think I'm taking a good step just by realizing I have not been doing so.

I'm struggling with this. I don't know how to rely on God in the little things. He has so richly blessed me. I don't need to rely on Him for material provision. I don't need to rely on Him for a hope. I already have that in Him, but my life is good right now. I know I owe everything good to Him, and I acknowledge that with my thankfulness. I'm stuck. And I'm trying.