When I was a senior in high school, I even danced at my church in the worship dance ministry. I loved being a part of this ministry. We would meet together once a week, learn more choreography, and spend time praying and immersed in the word together. I'm longing to start something like that at a church up here. I'm in this video, and I even choreographed some of it.
My love for dance has always been there. But I didn't start taking classes until long after I quit gymnastics. But, I spent summer dance dancing with my friends, choreographing dances and preforming them. I had no shame. No fear.
I signed up for a dance class in high school and I was hooked. I loved it, and I took dance every year of high school after that. While taking classes at school, I got frustrated with myself. I had trouble with my memory, with choreography, with auditioning, with technique. Some days, I would walk out of the class. I made it into a personal failure, although it wasn't.
My senior year, I finally was able to be in a dance class outside of school because I could drive myself. So I signed up for classes two days a week at one studio, and two days a week at another studio. (I drove a lot). Beginning classes were too easy. But the level of my age group was difficult, and I felt myself being embarrassed or NOT good enough.
I was torn. Do I give up dance? or Do I continue to feel insecure and unable to succeed in classes?
With the help of my major dancer friend, Angela, I kept taking classes in the summer. The feelings didn't go away. When I miss dance, I watch people preform, longing to be one of them. I used to be great. But I need more training, more help. But at my age, they don't offer it.
Angela and I as seniors in high school after Winter Formal
I long to be on pointe one day. Or at least a beautiful skilled dancer, again.
The barre is one of the most beautiful and raw places to me
Angela and I, TuTus and all
Twin Day: Wearing Legwarmers, OF COURSE
I won't let my fear of failure hold me back. I want to dance. Again.