June 3, 2011

Restless for where I belong

Living in the Northwest sometimes gets to me. I love it, but sometimes the weather makes me have "ehh" moods. Since I've been back, I've been in a funk. Today it is actually sunny, so I fully intend to get outside and enjoy some Vitamin D.

A song I've heard a million times before spoke to me today. Isn't that just always how it works?

Safe by Phil Wickham
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong he'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free
 How incredibly beautiful is this? We are not alone. Even when we feel completely alone, we are NOT. God calms raging seas and heals blind so they can see, this is amazing! This song is so comforting to me. 
The other comfort I had today was a line in Heaven Song, also by Phil Wickham.
"My soul is getting restless for the place where I belong. I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song."

Lately, I've really tried to find a place where I feel comfortable. I feel like I've been searching. I am trying to find something useful to do with my summer. It kills me not to be able to work at a camp this summer, especially Canby Grove. A  year ago today, I walked onto camp grounds for the first time. I was scared, nervous, and really excited. I didn't know how much my life was going to change. And it did.
I met the love of my life at that camp. I brought kids to Christ for the first time. I enjoyed true and beautiful community with the staff who became my family. I did things to get me outside my shell that I would NEVER have done. I wore chacos. I used duct tape. I sat in a dunk tank and got dunked, again and again. I lead activities. I swam every single day (no matter how cold it was). I chewed up M&Ms and spit them out at campers. I tubed down a river...with a tube and without one. I saw the love of God first hand touch people. I used a ho. I got blisters on my hands. I sang silly camp songs. I laughed. I grew. I blossomed. I found true joy. I appreciated beauty. I danced. I was in skits. I screamed my heart out. I raced kids in bounce houses. I blew bubbles. I caught bubbles. I had many smores, sandwiches, air heads, pizza, and apples. I cried. I was frustrated. I leaned on God. I trusted God. I had difficult campers. I had amazing campers. I worked very closely with hay and had an allergic reaction to it. I worshiped. I built a sling shot course. I had zillions of ants attack. I got called Nala. And sometimes Goldielocks. I slept outside without a tent. I put oatmeal in my hair, paint all over my body, and whipped cream and Cheetos on my face. I dug in the dirt. I enjoyed digging in the dirt. I caught a fish. I gave kids bait. I shot a gun. I watched the stars. I woke up at 5 in the morning, everyday. I had sleepless nights. I had great conversations. Sonic runs. Sunflower seeds. I had the time of my life. 

I belong in ministry. I thrive in ministry.

1 comment:

  1. I know it's not a real camp [and it's not paid...], but Southside is having a summer program for middle schoolers that you might enjoy :] And they're in need of staff. Let me know if you want more info!